Monday, May 17
Peaceful moments. This last week was one of those weeks where I had to grasp at every little bit of peace that came my way.
My week started with a call about my dad...he wasn't doing well again and went back in the hospital... on Tuesday I received a letter and a phone call which brought me to tears... that same evening, Rainee... my sweet Rainee, for no apparent reason, squirted her water drinks all over our family room and all over Champ... which made everything smell like wet dirty dog with a hint of fruit... which with the day I had... brought me to tears... and just as I was going to go to bed, the doctor called about my dad... which again, brought me to tears.
Needless to say... I cried myself to sleep Tuesday night and prayed for a better week. The rest of my week was nothing like Monday or Tuesday... my heart is still seeking peace from news I received on Tuesday... but, I am still dealing with it... I cry when I think about it... I struggle... I pray... I cry... and it starts over... The peace I seek for it I know will come. But right now... I am sooooooooo very grateful for the little spaces of time where I found peace in this incredibly difficult week... my dad getting out of the hospital... he's weak, but he's out of the hospital... cuddling and reading books with my little Rainee... joking around with Steve... talking with my sister... the silence right before everyone gets up in the morning... a lovely breeze in the late afternoon... this was a week I don't want repeated... but I am so very thankful for peace... every peaceful moment... I am grateful.
at 5:00 AM